DON'T SAY LOVE and STOP CRITICIZING YOUR SELF

If you want to touch your friend, lover, sweetheart orspouse's heart today - DON'T say "I love you."Instead, look him or her in the eyes and say somethingelse; something that will touch, pull and tug the heartstrings like nothing else; something that will never beforgotten.Here's what I suggest: Think of all the things you admireabout this special person. Think back upon what you lovedabout him or her when you first met - or when you first became friends. Go back and play a mental movie of those times. See everything on the big screen in your mind. Then do one of two things: Put a positive message in writing with the details about what you admire in this person anddeliver it to him or her while you stand there and watch your message get read. Or ... you go directly to this person, look directly into her eyesand begin with the following phrase: "I never told you this before but when I first met you the thing I loved and admired about you was ...."You can then add some juicy details about what you like about her NOW. When ALL of the above is finished - then you can say, "I love you."Do this and you'll be singing at the moon all night long.

Yesterday I wrote about handling the 'outer critic' - those geniuses who always know that whatever you are doing is wrong. Yet, the truth is that many people are their worst critics. Insults from others pale in comparison to the amount of SELF-criticism leveled at oneself. Constant criticism of yourself is no way to go through life. You are far better off seeing yourself with 'kind eyes.'Think of that. Whenever you picture yourself with all your flaws,how about softening your eyes and imagining that a big smileis radiating from within YOU.You can start with your face and work downward. Get yourentire body radiating a gigantic smile. When you do so you'llbe more relaxed, happier, healthier and in a better positionto 'get up and go.'Seeing yourself with kind eyes is akin to forgiveness of self;forgiveness of your mistakes, errors and goofs. Seeing yourself with kind eyes is about gratitude toward self. Look in the mirror and if you hear the inner critic trying to takecharge - nuke that little monster with gratitude for everythingyou see. You'll be amazed at how quickly this will change your emotionalstate from negative to positive. And when your emotional state is positive, you are a magnetfor others who feel the same way. Don't know about you, but I prefer to be around those who are 'moving up' in life. Truth is, if you aren't surrounding yourself with people and information designed to lift you UP - then by law you'll be pulled further down. You must continually feed your mind good thoughts and good ideas. If you don't, you'll end upwith a garden full of weeds. matt@mattfurey.com